“The more we focus on something, the more we get of that something”.

In other words, the more we put energy into something the more we get an output to match the energy vibration we are giving.  This blog is part of the series called ‘Nurturing Our Energy’.

Sofia’s Story

Let me tell you a little about Sofia, a client I was coaching recently on a relationship issue that she was dealing with at home.

Her boyfriend was out of work for many months now and he had become depressed and not much fun to be around.

Sofia felt drained and powerless. She was tired of constant nagging, worrying and felt alone as her boyfriend withdrew from the outside world. It had gotten to the stage that my client did not like coming home after a days work, didn’t enjoy his company and was considering her ‘options’.

She had come to ask what ‘option’ should she take?

So what really happened here?

To try and rectify someone else’s pain and bring the person back in alignment with us we give them lots and lots of our energy usually from a very loving place. However after a long time of giving, and when our ‘energy bank accounts’ aren’t being refueled all we seem to do is feel drained, tired and eventually angry with the other person.

Perhaps you may have felt like this with some before?

So what can we do?

Well, we all know the only person we can change is ourselves ..so therefore by focusing positively on ourselves, we lift our vibrational energy to a higher frequency and fill up our own ‘energy bank accounts’.

We become stronger when our energy bank accounts are fuller (see separate blog on self-care, or also mentioned in my ‘Reclaim Your Power’ Free ebook) and thus the person around us can decide to either join us, or decide to stay put – either way we invested into ourselves and now feel like we have roots like an old oak tree that is unshakable – we feel grounded and steady, vibrant and energized.

We can give more of ourselves with clear boundaries, as we know how to ensure our ‘energy bank account’ stays filled.

So how might this relate to me today?

Perhaps you are in a romantic relationship and not knowing what step to take next. Firstly, assess your ‘energy bank account’ – is it where you want it to be? If not, then proceed to start to take care of yourself first and focus more of your energy towards yourself – the answer will become clearer in time.


Perhaps you are being bullied or having a bad relationship with someone in the workplace. Start getting stronger by focusing less on the problem, and more on investing in your self-care – eventually your mind will clear and you will see what action you need to take – perhaps a decision that only you can make.


  • Focusing on the past is a waste of energy as the past is gone and cannot be changed.
  • Focusing on a current problem is also not the best use of your energy as at times it may feel like trying to walk through quicksand.
  • However, focusing on creating a positive future, well that just lights folks up, bringing them to an immediate higher vibration and opens them up to creating something magical.

Wishing you a wonderful day!



ps. I would love to hear your thoughts on this blog – what came up for you and do you have any suggestions which may help others?


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